Cleaning Up Resentment: How to Find Happiness Again

Making decisions can be difficult, especially when it comes to choosing between pleasing yourself or someone else. We often find ourselves in a position where we must choose between our own desires and the needs of those around us. This dilemma can cause us to feel resentment and fear, as we weigh our options and try to decide which path is best for us.

In this article, we will explore the different aspects of making decisions between pleasing yourself and others. We’ll discuss how understanding resentment and fear can help you make better choices, as well as how calculations and weighing your options can help you reach a conclusion. Finally, we’ll examine the importance of developing critical thinking skills to move forward with confidence in your decision-making process.

Resentment is caused by feeling wronged, unappreciated, powerless, or fearful of disapproval. It’s important to understand underlying causes to address it.

Resentment and Fear

Resentment is an emotion that can be difficult to understand. It’s a mix of anger, frustration, and sadness, often caused by a feeling of being wronged or taken advantage of. People may feel resentful if they believe someone has done something to hurt them or take away their power. Resentment can also arise when someone feels like their efforts have gone unrecognized or unappreciated.

Understanding Resentment

In order to understand resentment, it’s important to look at the underlying causes. Often, people feel resentful because they perceive that someone else has more power than they do in a situation. This can lead to feelings of helplessness and a sense that their voice isn’t being heard. It’s also common for people to feel resentful when they think someone else is taking advantage of them or not recognizing their hard work.

Fear of Disapproval

Another factor that can contribute to resentment is fear of disapproval from others. People may be hesitant to speak up or challenge the status quo because they are afraid of how others will react. This fear can lead to feelings of anger and frustration as well as resentment toward those who seem to have more control over the situation. It’s important for people to recognize these fears and take steps to overcome them in order to move past the resentment they are feeling.

Calculations and Weighing Options

When making decisions, it is important to take into account the different factors that can come into play. Calculating and weighing your options can be a difficult process, but it is necessary in order to make an informed decision.

Give and Take

One of the most important calculations to consider when making a decision is the give and take involved. It is important to think about how much you are willing to give up in order to get what you want. For example, if you are deciding whether or not to go out with friends on a Friday night, you may have to weigh the cost of missing out on studying for an exam against the joy of spending time with your friends.

Pleasing Yourself

Another calculation to consider is how much pleasure you will get from making a certain decision. If you are considering going out with friends on a Friday night, ask yourself if it will truly make you happy or if there are other things that might bring more pleasure. You should also think about any potential negative consequences of the decision and weigh them against the positive ones.

Mutual Enjoyment

Finally, when making a decision, it is important to consider how it will affect those around you. If you decide to go out with friends on a Friday night, think about how your decision will impact them as well as yourself. Will they be able to enjoy their time without feeling like they are missing out on other opportunities? Will they be able to support your decision and enjoy it just as much as you do?

These considerations can help ensure that everyone involved has a positive experience from the decision-making process.

Developing Critical Thinking

Critical thinking is an important skill to possess when managing relationships. It involves the ability to objectively analyze a situation and draw logical conclusions based on facts rather than emotions. Developing this skill can help us make decisions that are in our best interests and those of our partners.

Analyzing Options

When presented with a difficult situation, it’s important to take time to consider all the options available. Ask yourself questions such as “What are the pros and cons of each option?” or “How will this decision affect me and my partner in the long run?” This will help you assess each option more objectively and make a more informed decision.

Considering Consequences

It’s also important to think about how your decisions could affect your relationship in the future. Ask yourself questions such as “Will this decision cause resentment or hurt feelings?” or “Will it lead to a better understanding between us?” Taking the time to consider potential consequences can help you make decisions that will benefit both parties in the long run.

Self Reflection

Finally, it’s essential to take some time for self-reflection. Consider how your actions have been contributing to the problem at hand and what changes you could make going forward. This can help you develop healthier habits and better communication skills which will ultimately lead to stronger relationships with your partner.

By developing critical thinking skills, we can make decisions that are beneficial for ourselves and our partners, leading to stronger, healthier relationships in the long run.

Moving Forward

The ability to move forward is a critical part of learning from experiences, and understanding how to make better decisions in the future. In order to do this, it’s important to understand how resentment and fear can influence decision-making, and how to develop critical thinking skills.

Control Over Your Actions

One of the key steps in moving forward is taking control over your own actions. This means being mindful of your own feelings and needs, as well as those of others. It also means being aware of what you can control and what you cannot, and acting accordingly. Taking responsibility for your own actions is an important step in learning from experiences and making better decisions in the future.

When faced with difficult choices, it’s important to focus on what you can control. This may mean recognizing that while you cannot control someone else’s feelings or reactions, you can take steps to ensure your own safety and well-being. This could include setting boundaries or seeking out support from friends or family members.

Learning From the Experience

Another important step in moving forward is learning from the experience. This involves reflecting on what happened and considering how it could have been handled differently. It also involves understanding why certain choices were made, and whether they were beneficial or not. Additionally, it’s important to consider how similar situations could be avoided in the future by making different choices or using different strategies.

Learning from experiences also involves understanding that mistakes are part of life, and that everyone makes them at one time or another. Accepting mistakes as part of life allows us to move forward without becoming too hard on ourselves for past decisions or actions.

Finally, it’s important to remember that no matter what happened in the past, we always have the power to make different choices in the present moment. The ability to move forward is an essential part of creating a better future for ourselves and those around us.

Individuals can develop better decision-making skills and healthier relationships by learning from experiences and taking control of their own actions.


It is important to remember that in any situation, there are always options. It is up to each individual to weigh the pros and cons of each option and make a decision that they feel is best for them. Developing critical thinking skills can help individuals become better at making decisions and understanding the consequences of their actions.

Resentment and fear can be powerful emotions, but it is possible to move forward by taking control of one’s own actions and learning from the experience. By doing this, individuals can develop healthier relationships with others based on mutual respect and understanding. Ultimately, it is important to remember that everyone has the right to make decisions for themselves.

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